Tales from the Laundry Pile (Boxwood Hills Book 3)

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Put the case I get no anger by it, though formerly such things fell out, and the like may occur again. Yet, by Hercules! So I perceive in them all one and the same specifical form, and the like individual properties, which our ancestors called Pantagruelism; by virtue whereof they will bear with anything that floweth from a good, free, and loyal heart. I have seen them ordinarily take goodwill in part of payment, and remain satisfied therewith when one was not able to do better.

Having despatched this point, I return to my barrel. Up, my lads, to this wine, spare it not! Drink, boys, and trowl it off at full bowls! If you do not think it good, let it alone. I am not like those officious and importunate sots, who by force, outrage, and violence, constrain an easy good-natured fellow to whiffle, quaff, carouse, and what is worse. All honest tipplers, all honest gouty men, all such as are a-dry, coming to this little barrel of mine, need not drink thereof if it please them not; but if they have a mind to it, and that the wine prove agreeable to the tastes of their worshipful worships, let them drink, frankly, freely, and boldly, without paying anything, and welcome.

This is my decree, my statute and ordinance. And let none fear there shall be any want of wine, as at the marriage of Cana in Galilee; for how much soever you shall draw forth at the faucet, so much shall I tun in at the bung. Thus shall the barrel remain inexhaustible; it hath a lively spring and perpetual current. Such was the beverage contained within the cup of Tantalus, which was figuratively represented amongst the Brachman sages. Such was in Iberia the mountain of salt so highly written of by Cato.

Such was the branch of gold consecrated to the subterranean goddess, which Virgil treats of so sublimely. It is a true cornucopia of merriment and raillery. If at any time it seem to you to be emptied to the very lees, yet shall it not for all that be drawn wholly dry. Good hope remains there at the bottom, as in Pandora's bottle; and not despair, as in the puncheon of the Danaids. Remark well what I have said, and what manner of people they be whom I do invite; for, to the end that none be deceived, I, in imitation of Lucilius, who did protest that he wrote only to his own Tarentines and Consentines, have not pierced this vessel for any else but you honest men, who are drinkers of the first edition, and gouty blades of the highest degree.

The great dorophages, bribe-mongers, have on their hands occupation enough, and enough on the hooks for their venison. There may they follow their prey; here is no garbage for them. You pettifoggers, garblers, and masters of chicanery, speak not to me, I beseech you, in the name of, and for the reverence you bear to the four hips that engendered you and to the quickening peg which at that time conjoined them. As for hypocrites, much less; although they were all of them unsound in body, pockified, scurvy, furnished with unquenchable thirst and insatiable eating.

And wherefore? Because indeed they are not of good but of evil, and of that evil from which we daily pray to God to deliver us. And albeit we see them sometimes counterfeit devotion, yet never did old ape make pretty moppet. Hence, mastiffs; dogs in a doublet, get you behind; aloof, villains, out of my sunshine; curs, to the devil! Do you jog hither, wagging your tails, to pant at my wine, and bepiss my barrel? Look, here is the cudgel which Diogenes, in his last will, ordained to be set by him after his death, for beating away, crushing the reins, and breaking the backs of these bustuary hobgoblins and Cerberian hellhounds.

Pack you hence, therefore, you hypocrites, to your sheep-dogs; get you gone, you dissemblers, to the devil! What, are you there yet? Avaunt, avaunt! Will you not be gone? May you never shit till you be soundly lashed with stirrup leather, never piss but by the strapado, nor be otherwise warmed than by the bastinado. Pantagruel, having wholly subdued the land of Dipsody, transported thereunto a colony of Utopians, to the number of 9,,, men, besides the women and little children, artificers of all trades, and professors of all sciences, to people, cultivate, and improve that country, which otherwise was ill inhabited, and in the greatest part thereof but a mere desert and wilderness; and did transport them not so much for the excessive multitude of men and women, which were in Utopia multiplied, for number, like grasshoppers upon the face of the land.

You understand well enough, nor is it needful further to explain it to you, that the Utopian men had so rank and fruitful genitories, and that the Utopian women carried matrixes so ample, so gluttonous, so tenaciously retentive, and so architectonically cellulated, that at the end of every ninth month seven children at the least, what male what female, were brought forth by every married woman, in imitation of the people of Israel in Egypt, if Anthony Nicholas de Lyra be to be trusted.

Nor yet was this transplantation made so much for the fertility of the soil, the wholesomeness of the air, or commodity of the country of Dipsody, as to retain that rebellious people within the bounds of their duty and obedience, by this new transport of his ancient and most faithful subjects, who, from all time out of mind, never knew, acknowledged, owned, or served any other sovereign lord but him; and who likewise, from the very instant of their birth, as soon as they were entered into this world, had, with the milk of their mothers and nurses, sucked in the sweetness, humanity, and mildness of his government, to which they were all of them so nourished and habituated, that there was nothing surer than that they would sooner abandon their lives than swerve from this singular and primitive obedience naturally due to their prince, whithersoever they should be dispersed or removed.

And not only should they, and their children successively descending from their blood, be such, but also would keep and maintain in this same fealty and obsequious observance all the nations lately annexed to his empire; which so truly came to pass that therein he was not disappointed of his intent. For if the Utopians were before their transplantation thither dutiful and faithful subjects, the Dipsodes, after some few days conversing with them, were every whit as, if not more, loyal than they; and that by virtue of I know not what natural fervency incident to all human creatures at the beginning of any labour wherein they take delight: solemnly attesting the heavens and supreme intelligences of their being only sorry that no sooner unto their knowledge had arrived the great renown of the good Pantagruel.

Remark therefore here, honest drinkers, that the manner of preserving and retaining countries newly conquered in obedience is not, as hath been the erroneous opinion of some tyrannical spirits to their own detriment and dishonour, to pillage, plunder, force, spoil, trouble, oppress, vex, disquiet, ruin and destroy the people, ruling, governing and keeping them in awe with rods of iron; and, in a word, eating and devouring them, after the fashion that Homer calls an unjust and wicked king, Demoboron, that is to say, a devourer of his people.

I will not bring you to this purpose the testimony of ancient writers. It shall suffice to put you in mind of what your fathers have seen thereof, and yourselves too, if you be not very babes. Newborn, they must be given suck to, rocked in a cradle, and dandled. Trees newly planted must be supported, underpropped, strengthened and defended against all tempests, mischiefs, injuries, and calamities. And one lately saved from a long and dangerous sickness, and new upon his recovery, must be forborn, spared, and cherished, in such sort that they may harbour in their own breasts this opinion, that there is not in the world a king or a prince who does not desire fewer enemies and more friends.

Thus Osiris, the great king of the Egyptians, conquered almost the whole earth, not so much by force of arms as by easing the people of their troubles, teaching them how to live well, and honestly giving them good laws, and using them with all possible affability, courtesy, gentleness, and liberality. Therefore was he by all men deservedly entitled the Great King Euergetes, that is to say, Benefactor, which style he obtained by virtue of the command of Jupiter to one Pamyla.

And in effect, Hesiod, in his Hierarchy, placed the good demons call them angels if you will, or geniuses, as intercessors and mediators betwixt the gods and men, they being of a degree inferior to the gods, but superior to men. And for that through their hands the riches and benefits we get from heaven are dealt to us, and that they are continually doing us good and still protecting us from evil, he saith that they exercise the offices of kings; because to do always good, and never ill, is an act most singularly royal. Just such another was the emperor of the universe, Alexander the Macedonian.

After this manner was Hercules sovereign possessor of the whole continent, relieving men from monstrous oppressions, exactions, and tyrannies; governing them with discretion, maintaining them in equity and justice, instructing them with seasonable policies and wholesome laws, convenient for and suitable to the soil, climate, and disposition of the country, supplying what was wanting, abating what was superfluous, and pardoning all that was past, with a sempiternal forgetfulness of all preceding offences, as was the amnesty of the Athenians, when by the prowess, valour, and industry of Thrasybulus the tyrants were exterminated; afterwards at Rome by Cicero exposed, and renewed under the Emperor Aurelian.

These are the philtres, allurements, iynges, inveiglements, baits, and enticements of love, by the means whereof that may be peaceably revived which was painfully acquired. Nor can a conqueror reign more happily, whether he be a monarch, emperor, king, prince, or philosopher, than by making his justice to second his valour.

His valour shows itself in victory and conquest; his justice will appear in the goodwill and affection of the people, when he maketh laws, publisheth ordinances, establisheth religion, and doth what is right to everyone, as the noble poet Virgil writes of Octavian Augustus:. Therefore is it that Homer in his Iliads calleth a good prince and great king Kosmetora laon, that is, the ornament of the people. Such was the consideration of Numa Pompilius, the second king of the Romans, a just politician and wise philosopher, when he ordained that to god Terminus, on the day of his festival called Terminales, nothing should be sacrificed that had died; teaching us thereby that the bounds, limits, and frontiers of kingdoms should be guarded, and preserved in peace, amity, and meekness, without polluting our hands with blood and robbery.

Who doth otherwise, shall not only lose what he hath gained, but also be loaded with this scandal and reproach, that he is an unjust and wicked purchaser, and his acquests perish with him; Juxta illud, male parta, male dilabuntur. And although during his whole lifetime he should have peaceable possession thereof, yet if what hath been so acquired moulder away in the hands of his heirs, the same opprobry, scandal, and imputation will be charged upon the defunct, and his memory remain accursed for his unjust and unwarrantable conquest; Juxta illud, de male quaesitis vix gaudet tertius haeres.

Remark, likewise, gentlemen, you gouty feoffees, in this main point worthy of your observation, how by these means Pantagruel of one angel made two, which was a contingency opposite to the counsel of Charlemagne, who made two devils of one when he transplanted the Saxons into Flanders and the Flemings into Saxony. For, not being able to keep in such subjection the Saxons, whose dominion he had joined to the empire, but that ever and anon they would break forth into open rebellion if he should casually be drawn into Spain or other remote kingdoms, he caused them to be brought unto his own country of Flanders, the inhabitants whereof did naturally obey him, and transported the Hainaults and Flemings, his ancient loving subjects, into Saxony, not mistrusting their loyalty now that they were transplanted into a strange land.

But it happened that the Saxons persisted in their rebellion and primitive obstinacy, and the Flemings dwelling in Saxony did imbibe the stubborn manners and conditions of the Saxons. Whilst Pantagruel was giving order for the government of all Dipsody, he assigned to Panurge the lairdship of Salmigondin, which was yearly worth 6,,, reals of certain rent, besides the uncertain revenue of the locusts and periwinkles, amounting, one year with another, to the value of ,, or 2,, French crowns of Berry. Sometimes it did amount to 1,,, seraphs, when it was a good year, and that locusts and periwinkles were in request; but that was not every year.

Now his worship, the new laird, husbanded this his estate so providently well and prudently, that in less than fourteen days he wasted and dilapidated all the certain and uncertain revenue of his lairdship for three whole years. Yet did not he properly dilapidate it, as you might say, in founding of monasteries, building of churches, erecting of colleges, and setting up of hospitals, or casting his bacon-flitches to the dogs; but spent it in a thousand little banquets and jolly collations, keeping open house for all comers and goers; yea, to all good fellows, young girls, and pretty wenches; felling timber, burning great logs for the sale of the ashes, borrowing money beforehand, buying dear, selling cheap, and eating his corn, as it were, whilst it was but grass.

Pantagruel, being advertised of this his lavishness, was in good sooth no way offended at the matter, angry nor sorry; for I once told you, and again tell it you, that he was the best, little, great goodman that ever girded a sword to his side. He took all things in good part, and interpreted every action to the best sense. He never vexed nor disquieted himself with the least pretence of dislike to anything, because he knew that he must have most grossly abandoned the divine mansion of reason if he had permitted his mind to be never so little grieved, afflicted, or altered at any occasion whatsoever.

For all the goods that the heaven covereth, and that the earth containeth, in all their dimensions of height, depth, breadth, and length, are not of so much worth as that we should for them disturb or disorder our affections, trouble or perplex our senses or spirits. He drew only Panurge aside, and then, making to him a sweet remonstrance and mild admonition, very gently represented before him in strong arguments, that, if he should continue in such an unthrifty course of living, and not become a better mesnagier, it would prove altogether impossible for him, or at least hugely difficult, at any time to make him rich.

Have you undertaken the task to enrich me in this world? Set your mind to live merrily, in the name of God and good folks; let no other cark nor care be harboured within the sacrosanctified domicile of your celestial brain. May the calmness and tranquillity thereof be never incommodated with, or overshadowed by any frowning clouds of sullen imaginations and displeasing annoyance!

For if you live joyful, merry, jocund, and glad, I cannot be but rich enough. Everybody cries up thrift, thrift, and good husbandry. But many speak of Robin Hood that never shot in his bow, and talk of that virtue of mesnagery who know not what belongs to it. It is by me that they must be advised. From me, therefore, take this advertisement and information, that what is imputed to me for a vice hath been done in imitation of the university and parliament of Paris, places in which is to be found the true spring and source of the lively idea of Pantheology and all manner of justice.

Let him be counted a heretic that doubteth thereof, and doth not firmly believe it. Yet they in one day eat up their bishop, or the revenue of the bishopric—is it not all one? This is done on the day he makes his entry, and is installed. Nor is there any place for an excuse; for he cannot avoid it, unless he would be hooted at and stoned for his parsimony. It hath been also esteemed an act flowing from the habit of the four cardinal virtues.

Of prudence in borrowing money beforehand; for none knows what may fall out. Who is able to tell if the world shall last yet three years? But although it should continue longer, is there any man so foolish as to have the confidence to promise himself three years? Of commutative justice, in buying dear, I say, upon trust, and selling goods cheap, that is, for ready money. What says Cato in his Book of Husbandry to this purpose?

The father of a family, says he, must be a perpetual seller; by which means it is impossible but that at last he shall become rich, if he have of vendible ware enough still ready for sale. Of distributive justice it doth partake, in giving entertainment to good —remark, good—and gentle fellows, whom fortune had shipwrecked, like Ulysses, upon the rock of a hungry stomach without provision of sustenance; and likewise to the good—remark, the good—and young wenches.

For, according to the sentence of Hippocrates, Youth is impatient of hunger, chiefly if it be vigorous, lively, frolic, brisk, stirring, and bouncing. Which wanton lasses willingly and heartily devote themselves to the pleasure of honest men; and are in so far both Platonic and Ciceronian, that they do acknowledge their being born into this world not to be for themselves alone, but that in their proper persons their acquaintance may claim one share, and their friends another. The virtue of fortitude appears therein by the cutting down and overthrowing of the great trees, like a second Milo making havoc of the dark forest, which did serve only to furnish dens, caves, and shelter to wolves, wild boars, and foxes, and afford receptacles, withdrawing corners, and refuges to robbers, thieves, and murderers, lurking holes and skulking places for cutthroat assassinators, secret obscure shops for coiners of false money, and safe retreats for heretics, laying them even and level with the plain champaign fields and pleasant heathy ground, at the sound of the hautboys and bagpipes playing reeks with the high and stately timber, and preparing seats and benches for the eve of the dreadful day of judgment.

I gave thereby proof of my temperance in eating my corn whilst it was but grass, like a hermit feeding upon salads and roots, that, so affranchising myself from the yoke of sensual appetites to the utter disclaiming of their sovereignty, I might the better reserve somewhat in store for the relief of the lame, blind, crippled, maimed, needy, poor, and wanting wretches. In taking this course I save the expense of the weed-grubbers, who gain money,—of the reapers in harvest-time, who drink lustily, and without water,—of gleaners, who will expect their cakes and bannocks,—of threshers, who leave no garlic, scallions, leeks, nor onions in our gardens, by the authority of Thestilis in Virgil,—and of the millers, who are generally thieves,—and of the bakers, who are little better.

Is this small saving or frugality? Besides the mischief and damage of the field-mice, the decay of barns, and the destruction usually made by weasels and other vermin. Of corn in the blade you may make good green sauce of a light concoction and easy digestion, which recreates the brain and exhilarates the animal spirits, rejoiceth the sight, openeth the appetite, delighteth the taste, comforteth the heart, tickleth the tongue, cheereth the countenance, striking a fresh and lively colour, strengthening the muscles, tempers the blood, disburdens the midriff, refresheth the liver, disobstructs the spleen, easeth the kidneys, suppleth the reins, quickens the joints of the back, cleanseth the urine-conduits, dilates the spermatic vessels, shortens the cremasters, purgeth the bladder, puffeth up the genitories, correcteth the prepuce, hardens the nut, and rectifies the member.

It will make you have a current belly to trot, fart, dung, piss, sneeze, cough, spit, belch, spew, yawn, snuff, blow, breathe, snort, sweat, and set taut your Robin, with a thousand other rare advantages. I understand you very well, says Pantagruel; you would thereby infer that those of a mean spirit and shallow capacity have not the skill to spend much in a short time.

You are not the first in whose conceit that heresy hath entered. Nero maintained it, and above all mortals admired most his uncle Caius Caligula, for having in a few days, by a most wonderfully pregnant invention, totally spent all the goods and patrimony which Tiberius had left him. But, instead of observing the sumptuous supper-curbing laws of the Romans —to wit, the Orchia, the Fannia, the Didia, the Licinia, the Cornelia, the Lepidiana, the Antia, and of the Corinthians—by the which they were inhibited, under pain of great punishment, not to spend more in one year than their annual revenue did amount to, you have offered up the oblation of Protervia, which was with the Romans such a sacrifice as the paschal lamb was amongst the Jews, wherein all that was eatable was to be eaten, and the remainder to be thrown into the fire, without reserving anything for the next day.

I may very justly say of you, as Cato did of Albidius, who after that he had by a most extravagant expense wasted all the means and possessions he had to one only house, he fairly set it on fire, that he might the better say, Consummatum est.

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Even just as since his time St. Thomas Aquinas did, when he had eaten up the whole lamprey, although there was no necessity in it. But, quoth Pantagruel, when will you be out of debt? At the next ensuing term of the Greek kalends, answered Panurge, when all the world shall be content, and that it be your fate to become your own heir. The Lord forbid that I should be out of debt, as if, indeed, I could not be trusted. Who leaves not some leaven over night, will hardly have paste the next morning. Be still indebted to somebody or other, that there may be somebody always to pray for you, that the giver of all good things may grant unto you a blessed, long, and prosperous life; fearing, if fortune should deal crossly with you, that it might be his chance to come short of being paid by you, he will always speak good of you in every company, ever and anon purchase new creditors unto you; to the end, that through their means you may make a shift by borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, and with other folk's earth fill up his ditch.

When of old, in the region of the Gauls, by the institution of the Druids, the servants, slaves, and bondmen were burnt quick at the funerals and obsequies of their lords and masters, had not they fear enough, think you, that their lords and masters should die? For, perforce, they were to die with them for company. Did not they incessantly send up their supplications to their great god Mercury, as likewise unto Dis, the father of wealth, to lengthen out their days, and to preserve them long in health?

Were not they very careful to entertain them well, punctually to look unto them, and to attend them faithfully and circumspectly? For by those means were they to live together at least until the hour of death. Believe me, your creditors with a more fervent devotion will beseech Almighty God to prolong your life, they being of nothing more afraid than that you should die; for that they are more concerned for the sleeve than the arm, and love silver better than their own lives.

finding the extraordinary in the ordinary

As it evidently appeareth by the usurers of Landerousse, who not long since hanged themselves because the price of the corn and wines was fallen by the return of a gracious season. To this Pantagruel answering nothing, Panurge went on in his discourse, saying, Truly and in good sooth, sir, when I ponder my destiny aright, and think well upon it, you put me shrewdly to my plunges, and have me at a bay in twitting me with the reproach of my debts and creditors.

And yet did I, in this only respect and consideration of being a debtor, esteem myself worshipful, reverend, and formidable. For against the opinion of most philosophers, that of nothing ariseth nothing, yet, without having bottomed on so much as that which is called the First Matter, did I out of nothing become such a maker and creator, that I have created—what? Nay, creditors, I will maintain it, even to the very fire itself exclusively, are fair and goodly creatures.

Who lendeth nothing is an ugly and wicked creature, and an accursed imp of the infernal Old Nick. And there is made—what? A thing most precious and dainty, of great use and antiquity. Debts, I say, surmounting the number of syllables which may result from the combinations of all the consonants, with each of the vowels heretofore projected, reckoned, and calculated by the noble Xenocrates.

To judge of the perfection of debtors by the numerosity of their creditors is the readiest way for entering into the mysteries of practical arithmetic. You can hardly imagine how glad I am, when every morning I perceive myself environed and surrounded with brigades of creditors—humble, fawning, and full of their reverences. And whilst I remark that, as I look more favourably upon and give a cheerfuller countenance to one than to another, the fellow thereupon buildeth a conceit that he shall be the first despatched and the foremost in the date of payment, and he valueth my smiles at the rate of ready money, it seemeth unto me that I then act and personate the god of the passion of Saumure, accompanied with his angels and cherubims.

These are my flatterers, my soothers, my clawbacks, my smoothers, my parasites, my saluters, my givers of good-morrows, and perpetual orators; which makes me verily think that the supremest height of heroic virtue described by Hesiod consisteth in being a debtor, wherein I held the first degree in my commencement. Which dignity, though all human creatures seem to aim at and aspire thereto, few nevertheless, because of the difficulties in the way and encumbrances of hard passages, are able to reach it, as is easily perceivable by the ardent desire and vehement longing harboured in the breast of everyone to be still creating more debts and new creditors.

Yet doth it not lie in the power of everyone to be a debtor.

To acquire creditors is not at the disposure of each man's arbitrament. You nevertheless would deprive me of this sublime felicity. You ask me when I will be out of debt. Well, to go yet further on, and possibly worse in your conceit, may Saint Bablin, the good saint, snatch me, if I have not all my lifetime held debt to be as a union or conjunction of the heavens with the earth, and the whole cement whereby the race of mankind is kept together; yea, of such virtue and efficacy that, I say, the whole progeny of Adam would very suddenly perish without it.

Therefore, perhaps, I do not think amiss, when I repute it to be the great soul of the universe, which, according to the opinion of the Academics, vivifieth all manner of things. In confirmation whereof, that you may the better believe it to be so, represent unto yourself, without any prejudicacy of spirit, in a clear and serene fancy, the idea and form of some other world than this; take, if you please, and lay hold on the thirtieth of those which the philosopher Metrodorus did enumerate, wherein it is to be supposed there is no debtor or creditor, that is to say, a world without debts.

There amongst the planets will be no regular course, all will be in disorder. Jupiter, reckoning himself to be nothing indebted unto Saturn, will go near to detrude him out of his sphere, and with the Homeric chain will be like to hang up the intelligences, gods, heavens, demons, heroes, devils, earth and sea, together with the other elements.

Saturn, no doubt, combining with Mars will reduce that so disturbed world into a chaos of confusion. Mercury then would be no more subjected to the other planets; he would scorn to be any longer their Camillus, as he was of old termed in the Etrurian tongue. For it is to be imagined that he is no way a debtor to them. Venus will be no more venerable, because she shall have lent nothing. The moon will remain bloody and obscure.

For to what end should the sun impart unto her any of his light? He owed her nothing. Nor yet will the sun shine upon the earth, nor the stars send down any good influence, because the terrestrial globe hath desisted from sending up their wonted nourishment by vapours and exhalations, wherewith Heraclitus said, the Stoics proved, Cicero maintained, they were cherished and alimented.

There would likewise be in such a world no manner of symbolization, alteration, nor transmutation amongst the elements; for the one will not esteem itself obliged to the other, as having borrowed nothing at all from it. Earth then will not become water, water will not be changed into air, of air will be made no fire, and fire will afford no heat unto the earth; the earth will produce nothing but monsters, Titans, giants; no rain will descend upon it, nor light shine thereon; no wind will blow there, nor will there be in it any summer or harvest.

Lucifer will break loose, and issuing forth of the depth of hell, accompanied with his furies, fiends, and horned devils, will go about to unnestle and drive out of heaven all the gods, as well of the greater as of the lesser nations. Such a world without lending will be no better than a dog-kennel, a place of contention and wrangling, more unruly and irregular than that of the rector of Paris; a devil of an hurlyburly, and more disordered confusion than that of the plagues of Douay.

Men will not then salute one another; it will be but lost labour to expect aid or succour from any, or to cry fire, water, murder, for none will put to their helping hand. He lent no money, there is nothing due to him. Nobody is concerned in his burning, in his shipwreck, in his ruin, or in his death; and that because he hitherto had lent nothing, and would never thereafter have lent anything.

In short, Faith, Hope, and Charity would be quite banished from such a world—for men are born to relieve and assist one another; and in their stead should succeed and be introduced Defiance, Disdain, and Rancour, with the most execrable troop of all evils, all imprecations, and all miseries.

Whereupon you will think, and that not amiss, that Pandora had there spilt her unlucky bottle. Men unto men will be wolves, hobthrushers, and goblins as were Lycaon, Bellerophon, Nebuchodonosor , plunderers, highway robbers, cutthroats, rapparees, murderers, poisoners, assassinators, lewd, wicked, malevolent, pernicious haters, set against everybody, like to Ishmael, Metabus, or Timon the Athenian, who for that cause was named Misanthropos, in such sort that it would prove much more easy in nature to have fish entertained in the air and bullocks fed in the bottom of the ocean, than to support or tolerate a rascally rabble of people that will not lend.

These fellows, I vow, do I hate with a perfect hatred; and if, conform to the pattern of this grievous, peevish, and perverse world which lendeth nothing, you figure and liken the little world, which is man, you will find in him a terrible justling coil and clutter. The head will not lend the sight of his eyes to guide the feet and hands; the legs will refuse to bear up the body; the hands will leave off working any more for the rest of the members; the heart will be weary of its continual motion for the beating of the pulse, and will no longer lend his assistance; the lungs will withdraw the use of their bellows; the liver will desist from convoying any more blood through the veins for the good of the whole; the bladder will not be indebted to the kidneys, so that the urine thereby will be totally stopped.

The brains, in the interim, considering this unnatural course, will fall into a raving dotage, and withhold all feeling from the sinews and motion from the muscles. Briefly, in such a world without order and array, owing nothing, lending nothing, and borrowing nothing, you would see a more dangerous conspiration than that which Aesop exposed in his Apologue. Such a world will perish undoubtedly; and not only perish, but perish very quickly. Were it Aesculapius himself, his body would immediately rot, and the chafing soul, full of indignation, take its flight to all the devils of hell after my money.

On the contrary, be pleased to represent unto your fancy another world, wherein everyone lendeth and everyone oweth, all are debtors and all creditors. O how great will that harmony be, which shall thereby result from the regular motions of the heavens! Methinks I hear it every whit as well as ever Plato did. What sympathy will there be amongst the elements! O how delectable then unto nature will be our own works and productions! Whilst Ceres appeareth laden with corn, Bacchus with wines, Flora with flowers, Pomona with fruits, and Juno fair in a clear air, wholesome and pleasant.

I lose myself in this high contemplation. Then will among the race of mankind peace, love, benevolence, fidelity, tranquillity, rest, banquets, feastings, joy, gladness, gold, silver, single money, chains, rings, with other ware and chaffer of that nature be found to trot from hand to hand. No suits at law, no wars, no strife, debate, nor wrangling; none will be there a usurer, none will be there a pinch-penny, a scrape-good wretch, or churlish hard-hearted refuser. Good God! Will not this be the golden age in the reign of Saturn?

All will be fair and goodly people there, all just and virtuous. O happy world! And Plato's banquet is full of mockers, cavilling at one another; for I say nothing of the digression about Alcibiades But in Homer it is only banquets conducted with moderation which are applauded; and on one occasion, a man addressing Menelaus says— I dare not in your presence speak, Whose voice we reverence as a voice divine.

For it is not right for a man to be a flatterer, nor a mocker. Again, Epicurus, in his banquet, inquires about indigestion, so as to draw an omen from the answer: and immediately after that he inquires about fevers; for why need I speak of the general want of rhythm and elegance which pervades the whole essay? But Plato, I say nothing about his having been harassed by a cough, and about his taking care of himself with constant gargling of water, and also by inserting a straw, in order that he might excite his nose so as to sneeze; for his object was to turn things into ridicule and to disparage them, Plato, I say, turns into ridicule the equalized sentences and the antitheses of Agathon, and introduces Alcibiades, saying that he is in a state of excitement.

But still those men who write in this manner, propose to expel Homer from their cities. And that he spoke falsely of the young men one may perceive from Plato himself, for he says that Alcibiades, in the dialogue to which he has prefixed his name, when he arrived at man's estate, then first began to converse with Socrates, when every one else who was devoted to the pleasures of the body fell off from him.

But he says this at the very beginning of the dialogue. And how he contradicts himself in the Charmides any one who pleases may see in the dialogue itself. For he represents Socrates as subject to a most unseemly giddiness, and as absolutely intoxicated with a passion for Alcibiades, and as becoming beside himself, and yielding like a kid to the impetuosity of a lion; and at the same time he says that he disregarded his beauty. But also the banquet of Xenophon, although it is much extolled, gives one as many handles to blame it as the other.

And as soon as they are assembled the guests devote their attention to the boy; and this too while his father is sitting by. And then there was no one present who did not feel something in his heart because of him; but some were more silent than others, and some betrayed their feelings by their gestures.

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What winning graces, what majestic mien- She moves a goddess, and she looks a queen! But the young men who had come to Menelaus's court, the son of Nestor and Telemachus, when over their wine, and celebrating a wedding feast, and though Helen was sitting by, kept quite quiet in a decorous manner, being struck dumb by her renowned beauty. But why did Socrates, when to gratify some one or other he had tolerated some female flute-players, and some boy dancing and playing on the harp, and also some women tumbling and posture-making in an unseemly manner, refuse perfumes?

And what followed after was very inconsistent with his austerity. For Critobulus, a very well-bred young man, mocks Socrates, who was aged and his tutor, saying he was much uglier than the Sileni; but he discusses beauty with him, and selecting as judges the boy and the dancing woman, makes the prize to be the kisses of the judges.

Now what young man meeting with this writing would not be corrupted rather than excited to virtue? But in Homer, in the banquet of Menelaus, they propose to one another questions as in ordinary conversation, and chatting with one another like fellow-citizens, they entertain one another and us too. Accordingly, Menelaus, when Telemachus and his friends come from the bath-room, and when the tables and the dishes are laid, invites them to partake of them, saying— Accept this welcome to the Spartan court; The waste of nature let the feast repair, Then your high lineage and your names declare: 25 — and then he helps them to what he has before him, treating them in the most friendly manner— Ceasing, benevolent he straight assigns The royal portion of the choicest chines To each accepted friend; with grateful haste They share the honours of the rich repast.

And they, eating in silence, as it becomes young men to do, converse with one another, leaning forwards gently, not about [p. Such, and not nobler, in the realms above Are the rich treasures in the dome of Jove. For they are not admiring the beauty of building alone; for how could there be amber, and silver, and ivory in the walls? So that it is a natural addition to say— Such are the treasures in the dome of Jove, Wondrous they are, and awe my heart doth move But the statement, Such is the palace of Olympian Jove, has no connexion with— Wondrous they are.

But the poets use it in the feminine gender. And they got this name from having large spaces in front of their buildings exposed to the open air, or else, because the guards of the palace were stationed, and took their rest in the open air. And so Peleus is found— I and Ulysses touch'd at Peleus 27 port; There, in the centre of his grassy court, A bull to Jove he slew in sacrifice, And pour'd libations on the flaming thighs.

And so Priam lay:— In the court-yard amid the dirt he roll'd. For he does not put it forward as a grave proposition for discussion, but Menelaus inserts it in his conversation very gracefully, after he has heard them praise himself and his good fortune; not denying that he is rich, but from that very circumstance deprecating envy, for he says that he has acquired those riches so that, When my woes are weigh'd, Envy will own the purchase dearly paid.

But then, after displaying his affectionate disposition as a brother, and saying that he is compelled to live and to be rich, he opposes to this the consideration of friendship— Oh, had the gods so large a boon denied, And life, the just equivalent, supplied To those brave warriors who, with glory fired, Far from their country in my cause expired.

Who could there be then of the descendants of those men who had died in his cause, who would not think his grief for the death of his father as fair a compensation as could be given by grateful recollection? But still, that he may not appear to look upon them all in the same light, though they had all equally shown their good-will to him, he adds— But oh! Ulysses,—deeper than the rest, That sad idea wounds my anxious breast; My heart bleeds fresh with agonising pain, The bowl and tasteful viands tempt in vain. And that he may not seem to disregard any one of his family he names them all separately— Doubtful of his doom, His good old sire with sorrow to the tomb [p.

And while he is weeping at the recollection of his father, Menelaus observes him; and, in the interim, Helen had come in, and she also conjectured who Telemachus was from his likeness to Ulysses, for women, because of their habit of observing one another's modesty, are wonderfully clever at detecting the likeness of children to their parents, and after Pisistratus had interfered with some observation, for it was not fitting for him to stand by like a mute on the stage, and said something appropriate and elegant about the modesty of Telemachus; again Menelaus made mention of his affection for Ulysses, that of all men in the world he was the one in whose companionship he wished to grow old.

And then, as is natural, they all weep; and Helen, as being the daughter of Jupiter, and as having learnt of the philosophers in Egypt many expedients of all kinds, pours into some wine a medicinal panacea, as it was in reality; and begins to relate some of the exploits of Ulysses, while working at her loom in the meantime; not doing this so much for the purpose of amusement, as because she had been bred up in that way at home.

And so Venus, coming to her after the single combat in the Iliad, takes a form not her own— To her beset with Trojan beauties, came In borrow'd form the laughter-loving dame. She seem'd an ancient maid, well skill'd to cull The snowy fleece, and wind the twisted wool. And she seems to be aware of her own proficiency in the art: at all events, when she presents Telemachus with arobe, she says— Accept, dear youth, this monument of love, Long since, in better days, by Helen wove.

Safe in thy mother's care the vesture lay, To deck thy bride, and grace thy nuptial day. For she is never represented as luxurious or arrogant, because of her beauty. Accordingly, she is found at her loom weaving and embroidering— Her in the palace at the loom she found, The golden web her own sad story crown'd; The Trojan wars she weaved, herself the prize, And the dire triumph of her fatal eyes.

And so Telemachus does to Menelaus— But now let sleep the painful waste repair, Of sad reflection and corroding care. Accordingly, Minerva says, very sententiously, in Homer— For now has darkness quench'd the solar light, And it becomes not gods to feast by night. And now there is a law in existence that there are some sacrificial feasts from which men must depart before sunset.

And among the Egyptians formerly every kind of banquet was conducted with great moderation; as Apollonis has said, who wrote a treatise on the feasts of the Egyptian; for [p. Great Saturn's son, lord of the realms above, That I may be to thee and the nine Muses dear, That joy my heart may cheer; This is my prayer, my only prayer to thee. But the banquet of Plato is not an assembly of grave men, nor a conversazione of philosophers. And he drinks out of the bowl cleverly, like a man who is used to it. And there were no slaves to attend upon the guests, but free youths acted as the cupbearers.

And they were free men who prepared everything else for the guests. And after they had supped they went away while it was still daylight. But at some of the Persian feasts there were also councils held, as there were in the tent of Agamemnon with respect to the further conduct of the Trojan war. Now as to the entertainment given by Alcinous, to which the discourse of Ulysses refers where he says— [p. For after the exhibition of gymnastics the bard sings— The loves of Mars, a certain lay mingled with some ridiculous incidents, and one which suggested to Ulysses some hints for the slaughter of the suitors; since Vulcan, even though he was lame, got the better of the most valiant Mars.

And the feasters of that time sat at the table; at all events, Homer very often says— Sitting in order on the chairs and couches. Accordingly Agamemnon says to Idomeneus— To thee the foremost honours are decreed, First in the fight, and every graceful deed; 39 40 [p. But many men are led into mistakes, placing these verses in the poet all together— They wash; the tables in fair order spread, They heap the glittering canisters with bread, Viands of various kinds allure the taste, Of choicest sort and savour; rich repast.

What then, my friends, shall we call the entertainment which Antiochus, who was surnamed Epiphanes, but who was more rightly called Epimanes 42 from his actions, gave [p. And Polybius says of him, "He, escaping out of the palace without the knowledge of the attendants, was often found with one or two companions wandering about the city wherever he might chance to take it into his head to go.

And he was, above all other places, frequently found at the shops of the engravers of silver and of the goldsmiths, conversing on the subject of their inventions with, and inquiring into the principles of their art from, the engravers and other artists. And besides this, he often used to go among the common people, conversing with whomsoever he might chance to meet; and he would drink with the lowest and poorest strangers.

And whenever he heard of any young men having a banquet, without having given any notice of his intention, he would come to join in their feast with a flute and music, behaving in a most lascivious manner; so that many used to rise up and depart, being alarmed at his strange behaviour. And his conduct with respect to presents was very much the same.

For he would give some people dice of antelope's bones, and some he would present with dates, and to others he would give gold. And even if he met people in the street whom he had never seen, he would give them presents unexpectedly. And in his sacrifices, which were offered up in the different cities, and in the honours offered to the gods, he surpassed all the kings who had ever existed.

And any one may conjecture his from the temple raised to Olympian Jupiter at Athens, and from the statues around the altar at Delos. And he used to bathe in the public baths, often when they were complete y full of the citizens, and then he would have earthen pairs of the [p. And all the above-mentioned soldiers had purple cloaks, and many had them also embroidered with gold or painted with figures of living animals.

Besides all this, there were a hundred chariots with six horses, and forty with four horses; then a chariot drawn by four elephants, and another by two; and last of all, six-and-thirty elephants, all handsomely appointed, followed one by one. For youths walked in the procession to the number of eight hundred, all having golden crowns; and fat oxen to the number of one thousand; and deputations to see to the performance of separate sacrifices, very little short of three hundred; and there were eight hundred elephants' teeth carried by, and such a multitude of statues as it is beyond any one's power to enumerate.

maisonducalvet.com/gorliz-dating-site.php For images were carried in the procession of all who are ever said or thought by men to be gods, or deities, or demigods, or heroes; some gilt all over, and some arrayed in golden-broidered robes. And to all of them suitable inscriptions according to the accounts commonly received of them were attached, earved in the most expensive materials. And they were followed by an image of Night and another of Day; and of the Earth, and of Heaven, and of Morning, and of Noon.

And the vast quantity of gold plate and silver plate was such as perhaps a man may form a guess at from the following account. And there were six hundred slaves belonging to the king himself, carrying articles of gold plate. And besides them there were women to the number of two hundred sprinkling every one with perfume out of golden waterpots. And they were succeeded by eighty women magnificently apparelled, borne on palanquins with golden feet, and five hundred borne on palanquins wit silver feet.

And this was the most important portion of the procession. And there were fifteen of these golden dishes, full of equal quantities of cinnamon and spikenard. And in a similar manner in the five next days there was brought in essence of fenugreek, and of amaracus, and of lilies, all differing in their scent; and some days there were laid a thousand triclinia for the banquet; and some days fifteen hundred, all laid in the most expensive possible manner. And the arrangement of the whole business was superintended by the king himself. For having a very fine horse he went up and down the whole procession, commanding some to advance, and others to halt.

And stopping at the entrances of the rooms where the drinking was going on he brought some in, and to others he assigned places on the couches. And he himself conducted in the attendants who brought in the second course. And he went round the whole banquet, sometimes sitting down in one place, and presently lying down in another place. And sometimes even while he was eating he would lay down what he was eating or his cup, and jump up, and go away to another part of the room. And he would go all round the company, at times, pledging some of the guests in a standing posture; and at times entertaining himself with the jesters or with the music.

And when the entertainment had lasted a long time and many of the guests had gone away, then the king would be brought in by buffoons, all covered up, and laid on the ground as if he had been one of their band. And when the music excited him, he would jump up and dance, and act with the mummers, so that every one felt ashamed for him and fled away.

And all this was done partly with the treasure which he brought out of Egypt, having plundered Ptolemy Philometor the king there, in defiance of his treaty with him when he was but a little boy; and some of the money too was contributed by his friends. And he had also sacrilegiously plundered most of the temples in his dominions.

And he says—"But before I begin, I will give a description of the tent which was prepared within the circuit of the citadel, apart from the place provided for the reception of the soldiers, and artisans, and foreigners. For it was wonderfully beautiful, and worth hearing about. Its size was such as to be able to hold a hundred and thirty couches placed in a circle, and it was furnished in the following manner:—There were wooden pillars at intervals, five on each side of the tent longwise, fifty cubits high, and something less than one cubit broad.

And on these pillars at the top was a capital, of square figure, carefully fitted, supporting the whole weight of the roof of the banqueting room. And over this was spread in the middle a scarlet veil with a white fringe, like a canopy; and on each side it had beams covered over with turreted veils, with white centres, on which canopies embroidered all over the centre were placed. And of the pillars four were made to resemble palm-trees, and they had in the centre a representation of thyrsi.

And on the outside of these a portico ran, adorned with a peristyle on three sides, with a vaulted roof. And in this place it was intended that the company of the feasters should sit down. And the interior of it was surrounded with scarlet curtains. But in the middle of the space there were strange hides of beasts, strange both as to their variegated colour and their size, suspended. And the part which surrounded this portico in the open air was shaded by myrtle-trees and daphnes, and other suitable shrubs.

And the whole floor was strewed with flowers of every description. For Egypt, on account of the temperate character of the atmosphere which surrounds it, and on account of the fondness of the inhabitants for gardening, produces in great abundance, and all the year round, those things which in other countries are rarely found, and only at particular seasons. And roses, and white lilies, and numberless other flowers are never wanting in that country.

On which account, though this entertainment took place in the middle of winter, still there was a show of flowers which was quite incredible to the foreigners. For flowers of which one could not easily have found enough to make one chaplet in any other city [p. And in the spaces between the posts there were pictures hung by the Sicyonian painters; and alternately with these there were carefully selected images of every kind; and garments embroidered with gold, and most exquisite cloaks, some of them having portraits of the kings of Egypt embroidered on them; and some, stories taken from the mythology.

Above them were placed gold and silver shields alternately; and on the spaces above these shields, which were eight cubits high, caves were made, six on each side of the tent longwise, and four at each end. There were likewise in them representations of eating parties opposite to one another, of tragic, and comic, and satyric animals, having on real clothes. And before them were placed golden goblets. And along the highest part of the roof were golden eagles all facing one another, each fifteen cubits large.

There were also golden couches, with feet made like sphinxes, on the two sides of the tent, a hundred on each side. For the front of the tent was left open. And under these there were strewed purple carpets of the finest wool, with the carpet pattern on both sides.


And there were handsomely embroidered rugs very beautifully elaborated on them. Besides this, thin Persian cloths covered all the centre space where the guests walked, having most accurate representations of animals embroidered on them. And by them were placed tripods for the guests, made of gold, two hundred in number, so that there were two for every couch, and they rested on silver pedestals. And behind, out of sight, there were a hundred flat dishes of silver, and an equal number of lavers. On the opposite side of the sitting-room there was fixed another sideboard, opposite to that on which the cups and goblets were placed; and on that were all the rest of the things which had been prepared for, or could come into use.

And they were all made of gold, and studded with precious stones; [p. And it has appeared to me too long a task to undertake to enumerate every article of the furniture, and even all the different kinds separate. But the entire weight of all the plate and valuables there exhibited came to ten thousand talents. For it passed through the stadium which there is in the city.

And first of all went the procession of Lucifer. For it began at the time when that star first appears. After that came the procession which bore the name of the parents of the kings. And next came the processions sacred to all the gods respectively, each having an arrangement appropriate to the history of each separate deity. Last of all came the procession of Hesperus, as the hour of that one starting coincided with that time. But if any one wishes to know the separate particulars, he may take the description of the quinquennial games and consider them. But in the Dionysiac procession first of all there went the Sileni who keep off the multitude, some clad in purple cloaks, and some in scarlet ones.

And these were followed by Satyrs, twenty in each division of the stadium, bearing gilded lamps made of ivy-wood. And after them came images of Victory, having golden wings, and they bore in their hands incense-burners six cubits in height, adorned with branches made of ivy-wood and gold, clad in tunics embroidered with figures of animals, and they themselves also had a great deal of golden ornament about them. And after them there followed an altar of six cubits in height, a double altar, covered all over with ivy-leaves gilded, having a crown of vine-leaves on it all gold, enveloped in bandages with white centres.

And that was followed by boys in purple tunics, bearing frankincense, and myrrh, and saffron, on golden dishes. And after them came forty Satyrs, crowned with ivy-garlands made of gold. And they were painted as o their bodies, some with purple, some with vermilion, an some with other colours. And these also wore each a golden crown made to imitate vine-leaves and ivy-leaves.

And after them came two Sileni in purple cloaks and white fringes to them. And one of them had a petasus and a golden caduceus, and the other had a trumpet. And between them went a man of [p. And his name was Eniautos. And she was called Penteteris. Next to them came two incense-burners made of ivy-wood, covered with gold, and six cubits in height, and a large square golden altar in the middle of them.

And then again Satyrs, having garlands of ivy-leaves made of gold, and clad in purple robes. And some of them bore golden wine-jars, and others bore goblets. After them marched Philiscus the poet, being a priest of Bacchus, and with him all the artisans who were concerned in the service of Bacchus. And next to them were carried the Delphian tripods, as prizes for the trainers of the athletes; the one for the trainer of the boys nine cubits in height, and the other, twelve cubits in height, for the trainer of the men.

And the wagon was followed by priests and priestesses, and newly initiated votaries, and by companies of every nation, and by people bearing the mystic fan. And after them another four-wheeled wagon was drawn of the width of eight cubits, and it was drawn by sixty men and in it was a statue of Nysa, of eight cubits high, in a sitting posture, clothed in a box-coloured tunic embroidered with gold, and it was also clad in a Laconian cloak; and this statue rose up by mechanism, without any one applying his hand to it; and it poured libations of milk out of a golden bottle, and then it sat down again; and in its left hand it bore a thyrsus wrapped round with turbans, and it was crowned with a garland of ivy-leaves, made of gold, and with gorgeous bunches of grapes inlaid with precious stones; and it had a parasol over it; and on the corners of the wagon were fastened four golden lamps.

And on it there was a wine-press twenty-four cubits in length and fifteen in breadth, full of grapes; and sixty Satyrs were trampling on the grapes, singing a song in praise of the wine-press, to the music of a flute. And Silenus presided over them; and the new wine ran out over the whole road. Next to that was drawn along a wagon, twenty-five cubits long and fourteen broad; and that was drawn by six hundred men. And on this wagon was a sack holding three thousand measures of wine, consisting of leopards' skins, sewn together.

And this too allowing its liquor to escape, gradually flowed over the whole road. And it was followed by Satyri and Sileni, to the number of a hundred and twenty, all wearing garlands, and carrying some casks of wine, and some bowls, and some large Thericlean goblets, all made of gold. And next to that was carried a silver vessel conaining six hundred measures of wine, being drawn on a four-wheeled wagon by six hundred men.

Arid under its lips, and under its ears, and under its bottom, it had figures of animals engraved; and in the middle it was crowned with a golden crown, inlaid with precious stones. Next to that there were carried two silver goblets, twelve cubits in circumference and six cubits in height; and these had figures standing out in relief above, and also on their round parts all round And [p.

And after these there were carried some Delphic tripods, made of silver, eighty in number, smaller than those previously described, being also of a square, or four-cornered shape.

And six-and-twenty water-cans, and sixteen Panathenaic jars, and a hundred and sixty wine-coolers, the largest of which contained six measures, and the smallest contained two; and all these were made of silver. And there was a wine-press in which there were ten urns, and two jars, each holding five measures, and two flagons, each holding two measures, and twenty-two wine-coolers, the largest of which contained thirty measures, and the smallest one measure. There were also exhibited four large golden tripods, and a large sideboard for gold plate, that being also made of gold itself and studded with precious stones, ten cubits in height, having six rows of shelves in it, on which were figures of animals of the size of four palms, most exquisitely wrought, in very great numbers; and two goblets, and two crystal goblets mounted in gold; and four more sideboards, two of them four cubits high; and three others which were smaller, and ten water-cans, and an altar three cubits high, and twenty-five dishes for holding barley loaves.

And after them other boys carried jars, for the purpose of drinking sweet nine out of, twenty of which were gold, and fifty silver, and three hundred were painted with every kind of colour and hue; and all the spectators who were present in the stadium took a moderate draught of the sweet wine, which was mixed in these ewers and firkins. And it would not be right to pass over this four-wheeled wagon, of the length of twenty-two cubits and of the breadth of fourteen, drawn by five hundred men. And on it was a cave exceedingly deep, overgrown with ivy and yew, and out of it flew doves, and pigeons, and turtle-doves, all along the road as the wagon proceeded, having their feet tied with slight threads, so as to be easily caught by the spectators.

And out of the cave there also rose two fountains, one of milk and one of wine, and around it all the nymphs had garlands of gold, and Mercury had a golden herald's wand, and very superb raiment. And on another four-wheeled wagon, on which the return of Bacchus from the Indians was represented, there was a figure of Bacchus twelve cubits high, riding upon an elephant, clad in a purple robe, and having on a crown of vine-leaves and ivy-leaves o gold, and bearing in his hands a spear like a thyrsus, made also of gold; and he wore sandals embroidered with golden figures.

And there sat before him, on the neck of the elephant, a Satyr five cubits in height, crowned with a chaplet of golden pine-leaves, and holding in his right hand a goat's horn made of golden, with which he appeared to be blowing signals. And the elephant had golden furniture; and on his neck he had a crown of ivy-leaves made of gold; and he was followed by [p. And after them there marched five troops of asses, on which rode Sileni and Satyri, all wearing crowns.

And of the asses some had gold and some silver frontlets and furniture. And besides this there were three pair of camels, on either side three, and they were followed by cars drawn by mules; and these had on them barbaric palanquins, on which sat women from India and other countries, habited as prisoners.

And next to them came some Aethiopians bearing presents, some of whom carried six hundred elephant's tusks, and others carried two thousand fagots of ebony, and others carried sixty gold and silver goblets, and a quantity of gold-dust. And after them came two huntsmen, having hunting-spears with golden points; and twenty-four hundred dogs were led in the procession, some Indian dogs, and others Hyrcanian and Molossian hounds, and hounds of other breeds too.

And there were images of Alexander and of Ptolemy, crowned with chaplets of ivy-leaves made of gold. And the statue of Virtue, which stood by the side of that of Ptolemy, had a golden crown of olive-leaves. And Priapus was with them, having a crown of ivy-leaves made of gold. And the city of Corinth had a large image there, standing by the side of Ptolemy, and that also wore a golden diadem; and by all these lay a large golden beaufet full of articles of gold plate, and a golden goblet containing five measures.

And this wagon was followed by women having very sumptuous dresses and ornaments, and they bore the names of cities, some of cities of Ionia, and other Grecian towns, as many as, occupying the islands, and the coast of Asia, were made subject to the Persians; and they all wore golden crowns. And on other chariots there was borne a golden thyrsus ninety cubits long, and silver spear sixty cubits long; and on another a golden phallus, a hundred and twenty cubits long, chased all over, and wreathed with golden garlands, having on the end a golden star, the circumference of which was six cubits.

But there were numerous other articles and parts of the exhibition well worth seeing, and vast numbers of beasts and of horses, and twenty-four enormous lions. There were also other four-wheeled wagons in great numbers, bearing not only statues of kings, but also full of images of the gods. And after them proceeded a band of six hundred men, among whom were three hundred harp-players playing on their instruments, [p.

And numbers of thrones were borne in the procession, made of ivory and gold, on one of which lay a crown of gold; on another a pair of horns made of gold; on another was a golden chaplet; and on another a single horn made of solid gold. And on the throne of Ptolemy Soter lay a crown which had been made of ten thousand pieces of gold money. And there were also carried in the procession three hundred and fifty golden incense burners, and golden altars, all crowned with golden crowns, on one of which were firmly placed four golden lamps ten cubits high.

There were also carried twelve stoves with golden tops, one of which was twelve cubits in circumference, and forty cubits in height; and another was fifteen cubits high. There were also carried nine Delphic tripods made of gold, each four cubits high, and eight others six cubits high; another thirty cubits high, on which were figures of animals carved in gold, four cubits high, and a crown of vine-leaves of gold going all round. There were also carried in the procession seven palm-trees overlaid with gold, eight cubits high, and a golden herald's staff forty-five cubits long, and a thunderbolt overlaid with gold forty cubits in size, and a gilt shrine, the circumference of which was forty cubits; and besides all this, a pair of horns eight cubits long.

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And an immense number of gilded figures of animals was also exhibited, the greater part of which were twelve cubits high; and beasts of enormous size, and eagles twenty cubits high. And golden crowns were also exhibited to the number of three thousand and two hundred. And there was a separate mystic crown made of gold studded with valuable stones, eighty cubits high. This was the crown which was placed at the door of the temple of Berenice; and there was also an regis of gold.

I don't usually read poetry. I felt like these were two big things to get out of the way before starting the review of Grillone's work, My Pen, My Voice. Now that we've taken care of that, let's move onto the review! We're going way back in time with this month's read. Read on to see what Sandy and I thought of this one. Synopsis: For fifteen-year-old Haven, life is changing too quickly. She's nearly six feet tall, her father is getting remarried, and her sister—the always perfect Ashley—is planning a wedding of her own.

Haven wishes things could just go back to the way they were. Then an old boyfriend of Ashley's reenters the picture, and through him, Haven sees the past for what it really was, and comes to grips with the future. He lad a long, lazy Alabama accent and wore tie-dyes and beat-up Converse hightops that thwacked when he walked. Big Secret? Heavy Storyline? Parents Together? Sibling s? Cameos: None, since this was Dessen's first novel. Though you'd recognize Lakeview Models from Just Listen.

This is the only one I don't own and I was a very good girl and didn't spend my money on it because my sister owns it. Clearly I'm not as ahead of the game as I like to think I am! I had this idea in my head that it wasn't any good but I was wrong. Sure, it's not as good as her later novels but that's because, by now, she's had a ton of practice publishing excellent YA novels. That Summer reminds me why I love Dessen. It's not because her books are full of teenage romance, like other amazing contemporary YA novels. It's because her characters are real and they deal with things that make them grow up and continue on their teenage journey.

The books are about finding yourself - as much as you can when you're a teen. Haven is one of the youngest Dessen characters you'll encounter, if not the youngest. At fifteen she hasn't really experienced much but she's had a bit of a brutal year. We know right from the first page that her parents are divorced and her father is getting remarried - to a woman just five years older than her sister.

That same sister is getting married herself later in the summer and the five year age gap between Haven and Ashley seems very pronounced. She's also reconnected with Sumner, a boy Ashley dated five years ago. Haven thought he was the best and always thought her sister made a mistake by breaking up with him. Of course, you never know the full story of a relationship unless you're in it and Haven has a lot to learn about love. A couple of quick, interesting to note, type things. First, I like that this book took place in Lakeview - the setting of so many of Dessen's other novels.

It feels more cohesive this way. Second, there were a couple of instances where I was reminded that this book was written in the '90s with very amusing and dated references Walkman, anyone? I remembered right away that I really identified with Haven when I first read this book. I was around her age when I read it, also had parents who were divorced though I was much younger when my dad got remarried , and was just as tall. Haven had just reached 5'11" when the story starts. I hit that height around fifteen or sixteen, too I stopped growing a year or so later after I hit 6'0" and can remember feeling pretty awkward, just like Haven.

I was all angles and felt like I didn't fit anywhere sometimes I literally didn't fit places. Luckily for me, I was a basketball player and it's good to be tall in that world. I can also remember thinking everything was a Very Big Deal when I was that age and Haven reflects that. Finally, I have to share the opening paragraph of That Summer.

I think it's just perfect and also helped me mark off another Reading Bingo square! Another Dessen novel down and another smile on my face. Every line is quotable and the writing is fantastic. From beginning to end it is the quintessential coming of age tale. Our heroine is Haven, a fifteen-year-old girl struggling with the changes one particular summer is bringing to her life. Her dad is with another woman, her sister is getting married, and a boy she thought she knew reappears to prove otherwise.

It is one change too many for Haven to handle so she loses herself in memories of a happier summer from her past. Everything in her life begins to lead back to that summer and the boy that brought her family together. Sumner is an amazing character and though I found myself really having to focus on not calling him Summer I enjoyed the confidence and daring that he brings out in Haven. Because she is so tall, Haven feels like she should hide herself, not garner any more attention than she already gets just because of her height. When Sumner comes back into her life he changes her perspective of everything as he had when she was eight.

She remembers the sister of her childhood, before the bride, her father before his second marriage, and her mother before the divorce. She also remembers herself and how it felt to be just a kid sharing some time with family.